Fan the Flame

Today was a different day and I had an amazing time.  I say that like every day, I know, but that’s just how my week has been.  Today I spent the day cleaning walls and mopping a hallway which might not seem like the funnest of days, and trust me, it had its hardships, but I enjoyed the time I spent with my new friend there and the two of us had a conversation that made me realize something.  I always wish people I just met knew my background more so they would accept me as I am for who I am without judging certain choices I make or things I do.  This leads to me talking way too much and probably scaring them away anyway.  I started realizing (1) that I need to work on judging people before I know them (wow like the Gospel the other day!) and (2) that I have real issues being myself with people.  Number 2 (or should I say 2.0? Lol) is particularly challenging because I’ve tried to share myself with people a lot but it takes a lot for me to trust someone enough to see the me underneath everything else that I just say to cover up what is inside. Thinking about that made me go deeper to try and understand why that is so difficult for me and why I barely ever open myself up to others.  After talking to my friend, I realized that I am trying to protect myself from being hurt because the hurt that I’ve felt never really went away when I did open myself up and had my heart broken.  So for the rest of this trip I really need to rise above the barriers and let myself shine and remain open to other things that put me outside my comfort zone.
Later on in the day, during another task, I had a great conversation with another new friend where I was able to vent and really share my struggles and he likewise.  This also taught me a few things as far as judging others is concerned.  We never know what anyone has been through until they tell us so we need to look for the positives in everyone which I try to do, but probably not enough.  I lost patience a little bit today, so please say a Hail Mary for me to remain patient throughout the rest of this trip.  Don’t get me wrong, I love everyone here, but sometimes we really need to put God back into everything, a point my friend and I conversed about in my second conversation and then again later.  If we are about God, and serving in His Name, we need to respect Him and exemplify Him.
Tonight we also had a bonfire which brought to mind this oldie but goodie:
Light the fire…
…Light the fire
In my soul…
…In my weary soul
Fan the flames…
…Fan the flames
Make me whole…
…Make my spirit whole
Lord, you know…
…Lord, you know
Where I’ve been…
…Where I’ve been
So light the fire in my heart again


God Bless, *JuLi*


About Juli

I received my B.S. in Counseling and Human Services and a minor in Theology and Religious Studies and my M.A. in Organizational Leadership in Higher Education. Through a strange twist of fate, I ended up in the Human Resources field and at a company that I really love. I'm not much of a writer because I tend to write how I talk and when I tell stories I tend to ramble and tell way too many details. I love writing though because it's fun to get all my thoughts down. I also love drawing, I love photos, and anything artistic really.

Posted on June 28, 2012, in Gospel Roads. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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