Happy Belated Birthday!
So it seems that Cherie is the only one of us who posted on our 1st Birthday and I’m pretty disappointed in myself since I had been reminding myself all week to post. Tonight I became inspired though, so better two days late than never.
Tonight was the first night of my young adult ministry’s book study. While we only read the introduction to the book so far, I was already amazed at how inspiring the introduction was. We are reading Blessed Are the Bored in Spirit By Mark Hart. As we listened to the audio book and he spoke of his struggle, the struggle in society, and what we do about it, it inspired me to think about my own personal struggles. After the introduction ended, I could feel a profound silence and feel the reflection going on within and around me. We then delved into discussion (a little too early in my opinion, but it was fine) and I realized that we all have such similar struggles that take on different shapes and forms. Lately I’ve been hearing all sorts of testimonies and amazing stories that have inspired me and made me want to change my sinful habits, but when it came down to it, I still couldn’t change my choice. Not couldn’t…I guess it’s wouldn’t. I could talk the talk–and I spoke it well–but I was having trouble walking the walk. I would declare my changes and speak out to my friends, but when it came time to speak up where it mattered, I have been having a really tough time. I’m trying to take little steps, but I’m realizing the only way to change is to change all the way. It will have to be one extra large super sized step and I am terrified. Mark Hart spoke about people wanting to be liked and not respected. I fit in there perfectly. All this time I’ve been wanting people to like me, smoothing things over where I feel I need to, that I forget that by being myself and standing up for what I believe, I may make enemies, but why would I want to be friends with anyone who doesn’t accept me as I am? It’s going to be difficult, but I want to be brave. Pray for me so that I may be a braver Catholic and act more confident and less like a coward. It seems the closer I am to someone, the harder it is to potentially let them down. But I don’t want to be let down so I’m going to change my life. And if I don’t, you’ll all just have to keep praying for me.
Love you and God Bless!
Oh, and Happy Birthday C.C. 🙂